How to lose graciously

Dallas Aleman | Towpath Tennis Owner | Tennis Guru

Did you know that if you play this game you are going to have to learn how to lose? There is a difference between losing vs. taking a loss and finding a purpose. In order to improve when you're beginning to play tennis, you are going to have to accept so many losses that it seems like there is no end to it.

Nobody says they like losing but you have to be able to enjoy the process, which is more important than a particular win or loss. You have to learn how to overcome the setbacks and see that progress comes over a period of time. You also have to learn how to be a gracious loser and congratulate the winner, while always keeping in mind that there will be another day and another meeting that just might have a different outcome.

So how do you learn to lose and like it?

• Your losses reveal your true competitiveness. After a loss, are you ready to throw in the towel or get back in the ring? Champions like Rafael Nadal and Serena Williams have short memories of every loss and are ready to return to the arena with a more determined attitude and will.   

• A loss can reveal your weaknesses (even if you don't want to admit to having any). But this can embolden you to work on those holes in your game and avoid making the same mistakes.

• A loss can challenge you. You win alone, you lose alone. Take responsibility for the reasons that you lost, and look at how you can change them in the future. 

• No tears in tennis. You have to go onto the court knowing it's not the end of the world if you lose. The score is only one small measure of the outcome for your effort. 

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Are you a competitive player?

Kristianne Bontempo | Online Store Manager | Legit Tennis Fanatic

Three ways to deal with competition:

1. Embrace competition
2. Defend against competition
3. Avoid competition

What type of player are you?

Scenario #1: You’re in a tournament. Balls are no longer coming at a man-made pace. They are more like bullets zinging past you or landing around your feet. Your winners are becoming THEIR winners. You try one approach, then another but nothing seems to work. What do you do?

1. After letting your racquet “slip out” of your hands a few times, you realize it’s time to get out of this mess and save your reputation. You pull a back muscle, you start to limp, your strings have gotten too loose, you have a plane to catch.
2. Set yourself a new goal. You find yourself preparing early, leaning into your shots, following through. You focus on playing one point at a time, seeing how many times you can get the ball back over the net.
3. Because your ground strokes seem to be going awry, you retreat to a defensive stand well behind the baseline and half-heartedly flail away at what you can.

Scenario #2: Oh no, your group has you playing against someone who’s a level below you and pushes the ball too softly for you to hit it properly, uses some kind of weird spin on the serve, and has extraordinary luck with volleys off the rim. What do you do?

1. Figure out how to play this kind of opponent and learn to enjoy solving this kind of problem.
2. Call the league organizer later to complain about your court and request you only play with certain other players.
3. Grumble about the bad shots you’re getting, wish your opponent to hit the ball harder, and reiterate how this kind of game is hurting yours.

Scenario #3: You’re playing a league doubles match. You feel your opponents are beatable but your partner is having a really off day. What do you do?

1. Groan or roll your eyes to your opponents about your own frustration with your partner.
2. Refuse to play with that partner again.
3. Compliment your partner’s good shots even if they’re not pretty or don’t win the point.

Scenario #4: Your opponent has now made two bad line calls. What do you do?

1. Say nothing as you don’t want to start something unpleasant.
2. Look to get even on the calls, maybe at a key game point.
3. To show you have some doubt, just ask if your opponent is sure on the call, then raise your shot-making goal to hit every ball unquestionably inside the lines.

Key

1) a. 1pts b. 3pts c. 2pt   2) a. 3pts b. 1pt c. 2pts   3) a. 2pts b. 1pt c. 3pts   4) a. 1pt b. 2pts c. 3pts

10-12 points: You not only embrace a challenge, but you attack and revel in it. The competition becomes part of you. You set goals for yourself, find ways to meet them, and then set new goals. Bravo for sticking it out and staying tough until you’ve achieved a new level of success!

7-9 points: You give yourself plenty of excuses when you need them, minimize or criticize your opponents or partner, and find the end result more important than the journey. You’re not driven by the challenge of the sport but maybe by protecting your reputation or social status. If this sounds all too familiar, it’s time to get your goals realigned.

4-6 points: Even though you have your competitive moments, the thought of sitting through a challenging match diminishes any enthusiasm you had left. You might be relieved when it’s over, and feel hopeless about your efforts. It’s a negative or overwhelming experience for you. You need to rethink why you’re playing, maybe go back to some basics, and try to find the fun in tennis.